It's time to blog.

Might as well make it two entries in May.

I want to let it out.

I've got this worry inside me. Maybe not a worry, but a stirring thought. And it's got to do with singing.

Do you think anyone can sing? Do you think anyone can be trained to sing? I feel like I'm a great singer, but there's something holding me back. Heck, I'd even make a fucking good dancer, but I'd fear tripping over my own shoelaces.

It's there inside me, and I know it. I can feel it. Bottled up, catalogued and frustrated. When I try sing, little bits squeak out, the cowards running for the hills. Half-hearted. Half-assed. Half-baked. I can't sing in the shower, even when I'm home alone. Why is that?

What correlations can be drawn from singing? Isn't singing a happy thing? Isn't singing extrovertion to the extreme? That's why I write, cos I can't sing or dance or bother trying either. Writing is opening up, singing to yourself, mostly in tune. It's beautiful, not because it's well received by others, but because it's the internal you being broadcast. A transcript of your soul.

Comfort zones and 0.0 space

As some of you know, I've been playing EVE Online quite consistently for the last 2-3 months. While other MMORPGs bore the shit out of me, this game is dynamic, because it could be considered alive. The whole game is influenced by players and their actions.

Being space-based, the game is set in a massive galaxy of stars and their orbit items. In the centre of this galaxy is a huge cluster of stars considered Empire Space. Empire is where all the new players start out, it's considered safe for the most part, denoted by a 1.0 to 0.1 security rating. On the outskirts of Empire spaces is 0.0 space. There is no control out there, it's dangerous, treacherous but also bountiful and beautiful. Untold riches await those brave enough to venture below it's veil of mystery. Think of 0.0 as the hand of a young virgin. Actually, scrap that idea.

Now, playing for 2-3 months in this game is nothing. I've encountered my share of bad guys, but the risks were calculated and I survived. The time has come to venture out into 0.0 space, a thought that terrifies me.

Why should it terrify me? How alike is this to real-life where I'm scared of leaving my comfort zone, when I know it'll be better for me? Could I pack my things and fly overseas to a fancy new job and meet different people? Could I leave all I have behind and follow the sun to the horizon, on foot? Why is hesitation synonymous with impending change?

Time to leave Empire me thinks. If I can do it in a game, I can do it for real too, right? Guys? Hey? Where is everyone?