Even ice-cream can go sour

I was sitting on the pavement, legs in the street after another full day at work. It was 8ish, the sun was setting. I plugged in my iPod and played some Staind.

What transpired for the next 15 minutes was truly surreal. I felt like I was in one of those scenes in a movie, the wind blew briskly, my face warmed by the light of the setting sun and this song, serenading the emotional uprising inside me.

There was nothing more to it, except these overwhelming feelings of both ethereality and sadness. Not sure if the music itself had any effect in worsening my emotional situation, but it sure went with the rhythym of that moment. I felt like crying and smiling at the same time. So I had this blank yet relfective expression on my face.

My lesson had been learnt though, it was good for me. Walking into any encounter with expectations is really bad, especially when those expectations are not met to the full.

Still I felt terrible about the whole thing, especially about my own feelings. I was cross with her, but it had no foundation in her actions, rather in my own. I felt rejected through my own actions. She wasn't the one turning me down, it was my own expectations slapping me through the face.

This last week in Natick was bad, but it proved to me that popping a question is totally worth the risk. My time spent with her was considerably better than wasting away behind a computer :)

BTW, the song was "Staind - Epiphany".

New beginnings, always exciting :)

I started an entry earlier today but for some reason I left it blank. Now it's time to fill it with some juicy goodness.

Some of you know me well enough to know I'm a tad too timid to try anything in the female relations department. Today was different. Today I popped a casual coffee-date proposal to someone who makes me tickle inside.

Picture this, I'm pacing back and forwards in my little hotel room, thinking about how best to approach the situation. I thought up outrageous plans, except maybe the one about serenading at her window. The only musical instrument I can play is a rhythym stick. So, I hopped onto MSN for advice from an online bud, the Almighty_1. :D He didn't help me much, but he pointed me in the agreeable right direction. After much deliberation I was off with a plan!

Boldly I paced down the stairs, room key and 10 dorra in hand. The plan was something like this:

1. Acquire primary target, codename: "Ice Cream" from Hotel lobby fridge.
2. Pay for said Ice Cream at the front desk, as is common practice, where our intended lass, code-name: "J" works. All the while avoiding detection.
3. Scope for enemy hostiles, and move in to broadcast distance.
4. Send encoded signal to "J", acquire response and vacate the area before Charlie arrives.

In reality, it went something like this:

1. Successfully picked out an ice-cream flavour from the fridge.
2. Waited in the queue for my chance to pay for the ice cream. Agent "J" was nowhere to be seen. Area was swarming with enemy hostiles. (I assumed Agent J had been discovered and taken into enemy custody). Reverted to Plan B.
3. Left a short message with Agent J's sidekick.
4. Charlie arrived, so I bolted.

and then...

1. Agent J contacted me over the wired transceiving antenna. I play dumb, assuming the enemy could be listening in to our very converation.
2. I forgot a frikkin spoon for the ice cream!
3. I tell Agent J I will rendezvous with her at the Lobby, ETA: 1 min.
4. Agent J points me in the direction of the pickup.
5. Once again, the area was swarming with hostiles. I decided not to send the signal.
6. I vacated the area and hurried off to the extraction point.

Frustrated, I was left with only one option. Phone her. Screw those commie bastards if they listen in, I've got to speak to her, alone! So, I dialled guest services.

*riiiing riiiiiiing*

*riiiing riiiiiiing*

*riiiing riiiiiiing*

*riiiiiiiing riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

Aside: "Oh noes, she's got my room number on her phone terminal! She's ignoring me!"

*riiiiiiiing riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

Aside: "Why doesn't she answer!"

*riiiiiiiiiiing riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

*click* I hung up the phone. I try busy myself with opening the ice cream... then my phone rings.

At this point when I answer the phone, I bet she could hear me smiling over the phone :)

"Coffee?" Her tone curious. "Sure! How about tomorrow!" She says. With a "woohoo" inside, I agreed and took down her number.

Right now, I'm typing this out, trying to eat rock-hard ice cream with a smile so wide. The ice cream is OK, but it doens't matter how good or bad it tastes, it's the best damn ice cream I've ever bought!

Flying back to my home from home

I was staring out the window of our Canadair RegionalJet on our way back to a stormy Boston, The following happened:

Peering down, the surface cloudy from laden moisture. The soft cold air coating my nostrils with a freshness. Below the patch surface. There are lights below. Lights shimmering in the murk below. If I reach out, I dream I can touch this invisible surface but reason is telling me it is not there. Still, I sit here, way up here, looking down and imagine ripples in my past. Ripples distorting this invisible surface. Ripples bouncing the dying sunlight in every direction.

It was a stressful week at the client's offices in Georgetown, MD. A logistical pain-in-the-ass. The return car journey to the return flight was to be expected, but we arrived at the airport on turn. We were greeted with a security search queue that almost went out the terminal doors back into the parking lot. Tensions heightened. We raced to the gate after being cleared by security only to find out our flight to Boston was to be delayed. For two whole hours. God bless america.

When in Rome...

I found myself involved in an internal dilemna while travelling from my hotel room to the hotel cafe: "Why can't the entrance to the stairs be closer to the elevator?"

So much laziness in this country, but is it also efficiency? It probably takes me less time to scale the stairs to the 3rd (err, fourth) floor than to wait and take the elevator. If the entrane to the stairs was closer to the lobby it would be even faster, but then why am I taking the stairs in the first place?

I think its to do some exercise rather than being a truly lazy git and taking the elevator. So why am I moaning about having to walk further just to get to the stairs? heh.

...do as the romans do

Work is bad here. The company is a new, red-tape-tied-down beast that could easily rival big brother in clinical extremeity towards its own employees or "resources". I feel like the red-tape-rogue here, an outsider, free-thinking rebel.

This is corporate cubicle america. It is cold, unforgiving and clinical. I look forward to flying home.

Day-jah-voo

Some of you may recall this blog entry: dreaming about boston and lost loves. Well, the weirdest thing happened today.

If you didn't know already, I'm in Boston as I'm typing this :) This time for 2 weeks on a short business project. Anyway, from that last link, you'll notice the bit:

I'm here to collect M's great aunt. We arrive in Boston, but the airport doesn't look familiar. Instead, I'm getting a documentary overview of the city, as if I was watching a tourist information clip about the city.

M's aunt and I are on a weird jerking tram system, it makes all the old ladies on it feel uncomrfortable, yet they know they're safe because they've done it so many times before. M's aunt is rattling off to me, telling me of many things, but I'm not paying attention, maybe even ignoring her. The tram weaves thru strange unknown parts of Boston and at one point all the old women aboard time it perfectly: They throw bread out the tram's open air windows into a lake which is already covered in soggy bread and a multitude of white and patchy geese.

Well, picture this. I've just spent 21 hours travelling from JHB to BOS, and as I step off the airplane walkway, I'm greeted with a huge photo spread on the wall.

The poster is of swans in a pond, below a bridge and a backdrop I distinctly remember from my dream. I stood there, gobsmacked. So, I took out the camera and took a snap. Unfortunately it didn't come out very well :(

I suspect the photo was there last time we landed in Boston, and I subconciously noted it. Weird how the brain can play back things.

Re-tracing steps

The bus trip to the terminal in Framingham brought back both excellent and bad memories alike. Its good to be back here actually.

I'm gonna be in Boston for a few days, then a team of us is heading over to Maryland, VA, for some project scoping. That should last a week.

Its now 5:45PM, I'm waiting for 6PM so I can scoot downstairs and grab something to eat before I die.

Feed the cats for me, and don't forget to switch off the lights before you leave every morning. I'll be home soon honey, love you lots.

Gratz to Jay on his 28th. Sorry I missed it. :(