I've missed you, why?

A dream I had this morning...

I don't know where I am. It feels like South Afirca. I see warnings, warnings of great pain towards me and my old love interest, M.

M is the star of her own SA made TV series, and now it feels like the episode has started, with me. I haven't seen M for ages. The warnings in the beginning were like a teaser for the episode. I see many of the teaser bites later on, specifically the dungeon, embraced in pain.

I'm here to collect M's great aunt. We arrive in Boston, but the airport doesn't look familiar. Instead, I'm getting a documentary overview of the city, as if I was watching a tourist information clip about the city.

M's aunt and I are on a weird jerking tram system, it makes all the old ladies on it feel uncomrfortable, yet they know they're safe because they've done it so many times before. M's aunt is rattling off to me, telling me of many things, but I'm not paying attention, maybe even ignoring her. The tram weaves thru strange unknown parts of Boston and at one point all the old women aboard time it perfectly: They throw bread out the tram's open air windows into a lake which is already covered in soggy bread and a multitude of white and patchy geese.

We move on, and soon I am seperated from the old ladies. My tram takes me towards a more rural side of "Boston", another familiar place but not visually familiar at all. I'm skipping along the main street, high above the houses, hopping over the roofs. Then I see her.

Her back is to me as she's working in the vegetable garden at side of what can only be called a hut. Its a regular rectangular shaped thing with a flat roof. I descend from the air in my last leap and land next to her without making a noise. I embrace her and kiss her lightly on the neck. She's missed me. She looks different, more nautral, I can't decide for better or worse, but I still love her.

She's worried about the state of health of her aunt, yet greatly relieved to see me. I feel so at home with my head in her neck, watching her smile, hearing her voice, caressing her.

After a few more close moments, we head into town. We're headed to a dungeon of sorts. When we arrive, we're walking around the central complex, above a pit or moat of some sort, where inside, there are vast screens of numbers, all laser projected and counting down or up. 47, 54 or 57 the one said. Its mad, this place looks like an asylum, or jail. In the towering inner complex, I can make out faces of people behind terminals, who I can only classify as agents. They're studying numbers or inteliigence.

We walk round the outer complex some more, when the ramp up to M's aunt's room on the ground floor is number free. (the projected numbers are like laser beams, motion detectors.) Inside her open air room is M's aunt and 2 other people. One, a great old female friend whole loves M's aunt very much and the other is a doctor type who I can also assume is female.

M at this stage is very distrrught. She doesn't want to be here, but we take up two seats anyway. I'm not touching M. M's aunt is sitting in the corner between her old friend and the doctor. Her friend has her arm on her lap, consoling her. M's aunt is looking very bad at this stage, totally different to how I saw her on the tram. No hair, in hospital robes and very weathered. She's lapsing in and out of conciousness. My focus is on M, when her aunt starts speaking: "I just saw his hand and pen disappear" I look down and sure enough, I'm waving a long pen around in front of me, with my elbows on my knees, leaning forward. M starts to cry. I look at M's aunt from M's perspective and all I'm thinking is: "Go easy old lady, move on, pass on without pain!"

I don't know if M's aunt passed or not, but some voice explained to me that when M's aunt said she couldn't see the pen in my hands, that part of my essence had flown into her at that moment, and I was weakened by it.

I want to see M again. I want her to love me too.