Pooch on the porch in a puddle of self-pity

You've got this hold over me. It's all embracing, strong. There's nothing I can do to escape it.

It's like being the most energetic pooch ever, but being leashed by a 10 foot chain of steel.

All I want to do is go rolling in the mud, or play frisbee all day down at the park, instead, I choke on this restraint.

When you pet me, all is forgiven. I love you in a slobbery fest of energy and tail-wagging.

But I am just a simple minded dog, expensible and shorter lived than my master.

Do I leash myself? Is my master upset with me? Am I locked to this spot out of my own thoughtless actions? I promise to leave the cat alone.

Locked

Look at me with your tear-soaked eyes and know you're looking at me, the person inside. You would smile, I would smile, sniffing away the last tear. Facing each other, I lift my hand, fingers outstretched to wipe away the tears from your hauntingly beautiful eyes. You start crying again. I hold you tighter. In that moment, I know that its all going to be alright and so do you. Theres a themesong playing, something timeless, something we own in our memories. Everytime I hear that song, I think of you and know you think of me.

Walking the path, without shoes.

Work = bad right? Well, while it really has been bad, its also been amazing.

Behind all the friviluous machinations that is corporate policy, and feeling like a number all over again, I feel like I've grown. The responsibilities are starting to load up, most of them good responsibilities. The type that you don't have to be a manager.

Way back when, when I was young and naive, (wait, I still am! :P) I told myself I would never stop being a techie. I'd much rather have my head buried in code than worry about managing a project or a team of people. That's changed. I'm feeling empowered, and revel in the opportunity to lead a team, impart knowledge on my peers, superiors and subordinates (damn, thats a terrible word).

Recently edocs gave me the opportunity to conduct a techinal interview with a potential new applicant. I felt more nervous than the applicant, but in the end it went off well. Its great to reach out on a personal level almost, not just: "Pass this parameter please".

I've also been doing some research into the possibility of running a school of sorts within edocs. HTML and CSS skills are lacking, so I approached the VP with a plan, which he accepted and wants me to do more research. Within a few weeks I should hopefully be running 2-hour-long courses on web standards related HTML and CSS to any edocs people who are interested. It's going to be challenging, but I'm looking forward to the opportunity.

Other than that, with Tai, the Senior UI Developer on his blog-driven 2 month sabbatical, I've had to take on a lot of the work he'd usually do. One such project is an internal development kit for new client projects. Sheesh.

In general, I'm feeling like a different person. I was browsing through some old photos from the beginning of the trip (in June) and hardly recognised the skinny dork in all the photos. It's amazing what a different diet and a loose gym routine can do.

Ignorance > Islam

This is something I just want to get off my chest. Here in the land of the "free" they have a keen distaste for islamic people. Granted, its a sweeping generalisation, but it still occurs. Here in the land of the "liberated", terrorism is associated with Islam. People, please, get it in your media-tuned minds that just because a bunch of fundamentalists cause a country so much grief, doesn't mean that the religion they so unshamelessly bastadardised is evil too. In fact, I'd say many western civilists have much to learn about such rich and devoted religions as Islam and Buddhism.

Here, if you're a "towel-head", even Indian, you're going to be repressed. So much for the land of the "free" eh? Talk about double standards.

One question remains though: Why? Why the WTC in the most cosmopolitan city in the states? I've never seen so many South and Central Americans, Pakistanis and Hindus in one city. If you want to bomb america, at least do a good job and get rid of the towers of untruth in the form of media magnates and the towers of such sick "liberties" as the pr0n industry. Ask yourself Why America.

As for this shazbot debacle in the form of elections, who the hell does a red-neck or a banker vote for? You have George "Dubya" Bush (what kinda nickname is that - testament to the bastardisation of the western civilised), or even John Kerry. Not a great list of candidates eh? Frankly, as Gareth says, I would vote against Bush rather than voting for Kerry.

I'm so glad I don't live here.

Intellectual Whore, a.k.a.: Yours Truly

Hello netizens and blogophiles.

I had a naais weekend! Sheesh. It's not everyday one gets an opportunity to go see the men's finals of the US Open hey? Well, What a pity it was a such a walk-over. Hewitt was totally outclassed. Filthy Aussies.

Just before lunch on Saturday we drove down to NYC in a relaxed fashion (well, Gareth drove) and arrived in Queens, NYC in good time. After chilling out for a while we took the subway into town to watch the ladies finals in Rockerfeller center, where they'd rigged up a huge screen on some grass inbetween the skyscrapers. Cool aura! After stretching our backs out on the lawn, we decided to head into Central Park rather. Central Park is uber. It is the peanut in the dreadfully-bad-for-you M&M. On one of the roads cutting through the park, a music tent pumped out beefy tunes faster than an italian sausage machine. This was the cheesy dog, this was the butter on the popcorn. Rollerbladers in their hundreds were jiving and jamming to the beat all having an excellent time, I couldn't help but smile and try and sway too. :)

We didn't venture far into central park, but managed to catch some great blues at this one fountain and stair-case area I've seen in countless movies and Law & Order episodes. (oh, they had a 14 episode L&O marathon last monday, over labo(u)r day.) We headed back into Queens to freshen and dress up to get down to Greenwich Village.

We heard of a kewl bluesy, rockish place with a low cover-charge called the Bitter End, and after negotiating with the maitre'd got in @ $5. The first group were a blues / rock / rap hybrid with good stage presence and poor mixing. Only after 3 Corona's could I actually hear what the lead singer was banging on about: "Scotch!". The second group was as awful as the lead singer slash pianist's sweaty pink shirt. Their cover of The Doobie Brothers - Last Train Running was OK. After some AwEsOmE pizza, we decided to take a cab to Ground Zero to see the great beams of light they'd rigged up for 9/11, I mean, 11/9. About 40 "Space Cannons" per "Tower" all speckled in the night by masses of moths, beams that stretched to heaven itself.

The next morning I was woken to tea prepared by a zesty scottish lass, a room-mate of a John's. Norma's friend and fellow eire, Norma is Gareth Gareth's girlfriend, and Gareth Gareth is Gareth's buddy. :P

After shooting the proverbial breeze with the two room-mates, the other one: Violet, we headed to Gareth Gareth's place where we hooked up for a greasy breakfast and coffee at a place called the Copper Kettle. Damn, it was good :)

We took the subway East into Flushing Meadows and took in the vibe at the Open. After finding our seats and starting to burn in the sun, we milled around waiting for the Men's Final to start. When it did, we were 1 beer under already and having a kewl time. Pity the game was such a white-wash. Six love, Seven Six, Six Love. Thats a numerical representation of a sore ass.

We left NYC at about 9PM, got stuck in traffic outside of Hartford CT, and finally made it home at 1AM.

Whole again...

Its been a splendid and boring week. SepArate, conclude.

• Work Hat

  Imagine being the only english speaker, maybe even british, in a sea of amazonian pygmies. Pygmies that feed off grubs and maize. You can't speak pygmy.

  Now imagine that you have to work with them in building a hotel, a hotel the likes of which, the world has never seen. It's mind blowing in stature and budget. It has the latest and greatest architecture, but the problem is, its being built by pygmies, and a tongue-less outsider suffering from Malaria.

  Not only do these pygmies prance around with little to nothing around their waists, but the women look terrible, at least I could use them to store all my pens. They're monkeys with advanced clicking routines (har har), does that make them human?

  I still haven't gone to see the shaman. He's a wise old man apparently (something I picked up from a rather vocal pygmylet, clicking and waving his hands like an orangutan on speed). I'm sure this shaman is doping the water supply.

  The village also has its own fresh supply of dodgy promiscuious women... ...and many happy clients.

• Play Hat

  I haven't played warcraft for a week. Its kinda crap that way, cos I like the time to myself. But damn, after a busy weekend, who has time for that!

  On Saturday, Simon, Mandy and I drove to SixFlags New England. We arrived just before the crowds rocked up on a blistering hot autumn day, midday. This place makes Ratanga Junction look spastic. 8 roller-coasters, bungee chairs, water rides as far as the eye can see. Wow!

  The first ride we went on, after much deliberation, was the Bungee Chair (don't know what its really called, but its basically a chair you sit in, that shoots up a rail, all on air. Strapping in, I was quite nervous, visibly shaking hands and talking crap. We had queued for 30 minutes or so, just for this ride. Strapped in, we all had apprehensive smiles on our faces. The chair lifted slightly to measure the weight of its occupants and start filling the huge air cylinder within the rail column. In what must have been a split second, we were at the top of the 50-70m column, screaming our asses off like hysterical children. What a rush!

  Simon ended up being 2 inches too tall for the Superman ride, which in my opinion was the best ride in the park. Whilst Mandy and I queued, two people fainted in the heat! It was about an hour long queue which left us relieved after the sign said it would be 90-120minutes.

  For my first experience on a roller-coaster, it was truly amazing. I was squealing like a girl the whole trip, heavy positive G's, followed immediately by mind-blowing negative G's. Very smooth. Sheesh, I can still feel that exhiliration. Mandy wasn't really vocal on the ride, but I was going: "OH MY WOOORD!!!" and "YEEEHAAA!!!". Hehe :)

  The rest of the rides were a bit of an anti-climax, especially after the onsetting low of the receding adrenaline. Also, I think I was spoilt by taking the best roller coaster first. After a short lunch, we ventured deeper into the park. Batman was kewl, you sat in chairs that allowed you to dangle your feet over the edge. Much more jinking, Mandy bumped her head against the side of the restrainers. :( Otherwise, too short!

  We went on some of the older wooden roller coasters, rickety is surely the word to describe these machines. Bone crunching. The last ride we took at the park was a terribly old coaster, Simon and I sat in the last row, one of the drops, it felt like my spine had been compacted! Sheesh.

  The drive home was long, but it was good to get back to the hotel. I crashed.

  Sunday was spent in town, after driving in, we walked to the nearest station and took a train towards the Gardner Musuem, south of Fenway Park. Here, we saw the first evidence of crimes, baseball smashed windscreens in parked cars. Dodgy hood. The Gardner musuem was amazing, an old house, whos owner saught to collect fine arts, works of Rapheal, Rembrandt. Some of the art was inspiring, but I think we spent too much time there. We made it back to the general vicinity of our car park, then did some shopping. Prudential Center, Copley Square, sheesh, a shoppers dream. But insanely busy. :(

  After dropping Simon off at the airport, we drove the hour-long-trip back home and settled in for the night after doing washing and going over a few photos.

  Today was spent on my back, watching back to back episodes of Law and Order, followed by some Warcraft and a great walk around Westborough. I installed Tribes Vengeance on my laptop again, and this time it worked! Albeit at 640x480. :( Still, its playable and loads of fun!

• That grey area where hats don't fit

  Mandy got me thinking quite a bit about the trip here. She's feeling homesick, probably due to the new environnment here. Its been little over 9 days for her now. Anyway, this time this trip is totally different. I've refused to spend any over-time on any of the projects I'm busy on, probably cos I'm not that visible on the project and doing some real lousy work. So, its like my heart is not in it. I'll give it another week to decide.