Bakers will always be Bakers

My life is a bumpy ride over emotional altitude. I'll have periods of raw excitement followed by feeling just plain low. It's always been that way.

I've been thinking a lot about my makeup, how I was structured. Would things be different for me if I was brought up in a separate environment? Would I learn to love myself if I was encouraged and congratulated through life?

Now given a foundation, shaky or not, does that still prevent a building from reaching heights? Does a building need to reach heights to be impressive? Does a building need to be impressive if it offers exactly what a building should? No. What do you have the capacity to change? The architecture. It will take time to rebuild but it will be a feat unto itself. You've got is the soil beneath your foundations, that stupidly insignificant stake of earth. You've also got a team of builders, eager for work, eager for producing quality. All you've really got is a blank sheet of paper the same size of the inclined draughting board in front of you. Pick up the pen and draw. Be radical or be conformist in your design, but just draw.

I think part of my lull in attitude of late is related to both the amount of games I've been playing, plus the feeling of self-worth in my work. Whenever I get heavy into gaming, other avenues of my life become neglected. Friends, maintenance, self-esteem. Gaming is an escape from all those and more.

Watched War of the Worlds tonight. I remember why I hate going to watch movies with the old crowd, I enjoyed the story the movie had to tell, plot holes or not, but to hear it over-analysed in a logical fashion afterwards just killed the romance in the story the movie had to tell. The human drama in this movie appealed to me more than the excellent special effects. We are a sad species. We're so individualistic we'll never be at peace with our neighbour.

Anyway, I've got some reading to do. Jayesh picked up a copy of "The Alchemist" for me on my 26^th birthday, I've heard so much about the book, I'll probably finish it tonight. :)